


Phoenix

by JoblessAdult



Category: Thai Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Flashbacks, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoblessAdult/pseuds/JoblessAdult
Summary: 'We are all run by stories,' New says, leaning against Tay's shoulder.'What is yours?' Tay asks.New is silent for a few seconds. 'It has an ending.' he finally says. 'That writes itself first.'
Relationships: New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun/Tay Tawan Vihokratana
Kudos: 8





	Phoenix

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not based off real-life events. No relation to real life actors. Work of fiction.

“Our client,” Joss repeats, raising an eyebrow. He is tapping his foot, eyes darting between the elevator and New. New, who is busy adjusting his tie.

“Yes,” New says. “Yes, I know. We will be fine. It is –“ he glances at the watch on his left wrist – “quarter to two. The unveiling is at two. And we are three floors away from the hall.” The elevator dings, and New turns to smile at Joss. “And our ride’s here!”

Joss rolls his eyes as he motions at New to enter the elevator, following the shorter man in. They stand at the back, a comfortable distance from each other in the empty grey space. Joss presses the buttons before turning to look at New. His face is set in a frown. “This is unlike you.” He says, eyes narrowing a little.

New does not understand. He looks down at his clothes. He is wearing one of his finest, a navy blue three piece and tie. “What do you mean?” he asks, eyes darting towards the climbing numbers. They have only made it to the first floor. It is a slow ride, one that does not even offer the customary music.

“This tardiness,” Joss continues, gesturing at New with the hand not holding his briefcase, bringing New’s attention back to him.

“Being early is hardly tardy,” New counters. Sometimes he does not understand his friend. They have been partners for four years, friends for six, and the man still takes him by surprise.

“You always show up for all our client meetings forty minutes before time,” Joss continues, voice rising with certainty. He leans back against the railing, looking up at the depressing bulb. “And this isn’t even just a meeting. It’s a product unveiling for all the primary stakeholders.” He pauses as the elevator comes to a stop and the doors start creaking open.

New adjusts his tie a little more, making his way out into the brightly lit corridor. There is an open entrance at the end of the passage, through which he can see a few suited-up businessmen huddled together in groups. He keeps walking, Joss easily catching up and maintaining pace beside him.

“I am good,” New says, fingers finally leaving his tie. “Had a weird dream last night.” He decides to add before he can change his mind.

“Bad?” Joss asks, looking ahead, a smile already on his face. It is the one that gets them their million-dollar deals.

New feels a smile forming on his own face. “Jury’s out on that one,” he says as they finally near the entrance. As they walk through the door, New looks around at the massive hall. There are chandeliers on the peach ceiling, ribbons on the walls, and clothed tables all around them. A buffet runs along the length of the wall opposite the entrance, where New can count at least ten food placards. A stage looms at the front, decorated with a mike and some lamps.

“Overkill for a meeting of a few,” New murmurs under his breath, following Joss to the stage. A tall man is standing there, smiling at them. He is dressed to the dimes, an elegant lapel pin and chain on his left breast pocket. New briefly wonders if Joss got the event right. 

“Yeah,” Joss agrees, voice lowering as they near the smiling man. “Hall is at half-capacity, but the preparations are for an entire wedding troupe.”

“Way-Ar Sangngern,” the man greets when they get close, reaching out to take Joss’ hand. “Made it just in time, young man.”

Joss’ eyes flicker towards New, who keeps his gaze on the smiling man. “My apologies, Mr. Podd.” He says, looking back at Podd. His voice is dripping with the syrup New wishes he had on him right now.

He should not have skipped breakfast this morning.

“My partner here was caught in traffic.” Joss is saying, shaking his head. “All this construction work around the city is not helping.”

Podd’s smile stretches into a grin, and he laughs, releasing Joss’ hands. “Hey man, didn’t mean to put you on the spot! Besides,” he looks behind them. “Our guest of honor might be delayed. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I am Thitipoom Techaapaikhun,” New takes the chance to say, extending his hand. “You may call me New. I am Joss’ partner at Props.” Podd turns to look at him now, taking the offered hand and giving it a firm shake. “Nice to meet you, New.” He says, his eyes briefly flickering to New’s tie. New counts to ten in his head, trying to steady his twitching fingers. “I am glad to meet the mind behind the portfolio Joss presented all those weeks ago.” Podd adds, withdrawing his hand.

“The pleasure is all mine,” New says. “We are excited to work on this product with you. It’s an honor to have been chosen by Telechronics.”

Podd shakes his head. “Your plans are promising. We loved the Go-To-Market strategy you outlined for this product. Besides,” Podd adds, a twinkle in his eyes. “You have some impressive names in your portfolio.”

New looks at Joss, who is already grinning at him. It is the smile from their first day four years ago, and from all their moments of adversity. “And we will keep this partnership going for long, just like the rest of them,” he says, turning back to look at Podd.

“Thank you for inviting us to the event.” Joss chimes in. “Getting a better grasp of the stakeholders and Telechronics roadmap with this offering will help us plan our moves in better detail.” He adds.

Podd nods, motioning to the table right behind them. “Please have a seat. And flag down a server if you need anything. Our CEO should be here soon.” He says, eyes already on the phone in his hand. He smiles at them one last time before walking away towards the entrance, the phone now at his ear.

New sits at the chair, Joss taking the seat next to him. “What was the dream about?” Joss asks, laying his briefcase on the table. 

New snorts. He cranes his neck, trying to get a better look at the food counter. “Some sequitur this is from the moment we were having.” He says.

“I’m curious,” when New turns to look at him, Joss is shrugging his shoulders. His eyes are wandering, but his voice is alert. “You shared this detail for a reason.” He adds.

Sometimes, just sometimes, New wishes he wasn’t so human. So eager to share a part of himself, almost helpless in the desire to reveal himself.

Joss is looking at him now. “Was it that bad?”

New closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Darkness ascends behind his eyelids, all sounds in the hall fading into static.

“No,” he says, opening his eyes. “No, it wasn’t.”

There is silence for a few seconds. Joss isn’t looking at him when he speaks again. “Let’s go out for drinks tonight,” he says, tapping his knuckles on the table. Joss is not good with waiting. “It’s been a while.”

New feels a smile coming on his face. He looks down at the table. “Thanks,” he whispers. Joss says nothing, but his knuckles stop moving.

There is suddenly noise at the entrance, drawing New and Joss’ attention. Many men are gathered there, Podd at the front, seemingly ushering someone in.

“Guess the CEO is here,” Joss says, standing up. “Time to introduce ourselves.”

New stands up as well, lightly patting his suit. “Do you happen to know his name?”

Joss turns to look at him, his eyebrows furrowed and mouth slightly open. “You don’t know?” he exclaims, voice every shade of shocked.

New raises an eyebrow. “Am I supposed to?” he challenges.

If they were in a less formal setting, Joss would wave his hands and elucidate his shock with a loud ‘duh’. At least that is what New thinks, seeing Joss visibly struggle to contain his astonishment. It amuses him, watching a man so aplomb get skittish over a minor detail.

“You can tell me now,” New says, turning his eyes back at the entrance. The crowd seems to be parting, Podd leading the way for the guest. “Let’s focus on what’s important–” he stops, his eyes taking in the man walking through the parted crowd.

The man is walking towards them, eyes folded in smiling crescents. He is taller than New remembers, but everything else about him reeks of familiarity. From the smile, to the slightly jumpy gait, to the gelled-up hair, to the branded attire – it is not a person but a memory walking towards him, breaking free from its frozen mold in time.

“New?” Joss is saying, but New cannot take his eyes away. He needs to, god knows he needs to look away, but he simply cannot. His eyes have a mind of their own, a mutiny to the iron-clad control New has had on them. His heart is pounding, its vibrations creating ripples throughout his body and suddenly New has to gasp for air, for there suddenly isn’t enough in the room.

“New? Look at me, New.” Joss’ voice is more urgent now, closer too, and that is all it takes to cut through the fog. New turns to look at him, nudging his fingers against Joss’. The broader man’s shoulders are hunched up, eyes clear and glassy.

“I am okay,” New says, realizing the nudge will not be enough. “I am okay, Joss.”

His partner is still looking at him. “New,” he says, voice stern. “You stopped breathing.”

New shakes his head, even though he knows Joss is right. “This is a huge client.” He whispers, his heart strumming _It is him it is him it is him it is him_. “We can’t fuck it up,” he adds.

“Are you telling me or yourself?” Joss whispers back, eyes searching New’s face.

“Drinks later,” New reminds him, giving his hand one last nudge before returning it to his side. “Be good till then.”

Joss is still looking at him, so New musters up a smile. He can feel it wobbling on his face, so he drops it just as quickly. “Work first,” he says. “Work comes before everything else.”

Joss says nothing, and so New turns around to look at the entourage once again, only to realize it has stopped a couple feet away from him. There are several eyes on him, including Podd’s, who is looking at him in confusion.

 _Shit did they notice_ , he thinks, trying to give Podd a smile. The culprit is nowhere to be found in the crowd, and New briefly wonders if he just hallucinated in the middle of the day.

“New?” a voice suddenly speaks up, close to his right. New turns, almost causing his neck muscles to spasm, to see the culprit staring at him.

Tay has the same eyes, black irises with a tinge of brown in them. His cologne is different. A woody, muskier scent from the subdued pine he wears in New’s memories. He is standing at a safe distance of two feet, closer than he expected, farther away than they have ever been.

“New,” Tay says again, and this time there is a small smile on his face. “It is you.”

 _And it is you_ , New thinks. “Fancy meeting you after all these years, Tawan.” He says instead. He sees Tay’s hand make a move from its place in Tay's black jacket pocket, and immediately bows his head a little. “It’s a pleasure meeting you again. I look forward to working with you over the next few months.”

 _I can't_ , he thinks. 

He draws up straight and smiles at Tay, who is looking back at him. There are the beginnings of crow’s feet near his eyes, the laugh lines around the corners of his mouth more pronounced. He sees those lips shape into a smile, all the creases coming together to paint the portrait of the expression he sees in his dreams and nightmares.

“So,” Podd’s voice slices through the silence. New turns to look at him, smile intact. “Seems like no introductions are in order?”

New laughs a little. His throat is scratchy. He is going to find water after this. “We are acquainted, yes, but this has been a pleasant surprise.” He says, eyeing the crowd behind Podd. “Please feel free to proceed, we can catch up later.”

“Yes,” Podd agrees, closing the distance between him and Tay to push the latter in the direction of the stage. “Let’s get going, boss. It’s showtime.”

New keeps his eyes on Podd, watching the man disappear behind the stage. The other men disperse, seating themselves at the table. The room goes dark as the blinds are pulled down, and the projector whirs noisily from the ceiling.

“New,” Joss speaks up, nudging New’s side. New blinks before turning to look at him. “Let’s sit.” Joss says, pulling him down by his arm. New goes down, malleable in Joss’ hands.

Halfway through the twenty third slide, New says, “I can’t read him anymore.”

Joss says nothing, but pulls his chair closer.

* * *

_It is the last year of school, and they are six months away from graduation. New is seated on an old stone bench in the school courtyard, head bent and fingers tracing the fine print on a book. The pages are yellowed and rough between his fingers, their texture sending unpleasant tingles down his palm._

_“That looks old.” Says a voice uncomfortably close to his right, and New takes his hand off the page to swat at his friend without taking his eyes off the book. Alice is quick, backing away to a safe distance, her laughter ringing in New’s ears. She makes her way around the bench, crouching down to sit next to New._

_“What are you looking at?” she asks. New turns to look at her, noticing her eyes roving over the book. She is looking at the letters beneath his fingertips, he knows._

_“A book.” He says, turning back to look at the page. The print is slightly blurred, and there are ballpoint pen scribbles in the margin. A lopsided smiley face stares back at him, and New tries smiling back at it._

_“Whose is it,” Alice asks, her voice lower than before. New briefly wonders if a woman’s intuition is a real thing – a magic that deciphers lost anecdotes from silences – before shutting the book and taking a deep breath in. “No one’s,” he exhales, looking up at the trees in the courtyard._

_Winter has started seeping in, its arrival echoing loudly in the barren branches of the trees. Such grandeur, New thinks. A presence that announces itself through the absence of something that was once there. There is no pristine snow to be spotted on the ground, no amorphous flakes falling out of the sky, nothing that would give it away; but there is a chill in the air, one that has been nipping at New’s exposed face and arms for the past hour._

_Alice is silent for a few seconds, her legs swinging up and down the bench. Her eyes are on New, their feel like needles on his skin. “Really now,” she finally says, smiling at him. He smiles back, and it comes easier this time._

_“Alice!” a voice cuts through the comfortable silence. New looks up to see Arm walking towards them, his eyes fixed on Alice. There is an urgency in his steps, one that New knows has nothing to do with any real-life contingencies._

_“Hey,” Alice says once Arm is standing in front of her. She cocks her head to the side, leaning back and smiling. “What’s up?”_

_New looks away from them, pursing his lips to suppress the curve of his mouth. It is a hard task; his emotions have always had a mind of their own, betraying him at every turn. He shakes his head and tries to focus on the book in his hand. It sits still in his hand, the faded brown leather staring back at him._

_He lifts the book and presses it to his chest. It has grown cold in the past hour, but when he closes his eyes, he can feel its warmth in his chest, a simmering hearth in the frozen landscape surrounding him. The smiley is carving itself into him, its curves smoothing over the jagged edges of his heart._

_There are eyes on him again, but when he opens his eyes and turns to look, Alice is turned away from him, still talking to Arm. And through the narrow space between the two of them, New notices a boy looking at him. He is standing a few feet away from them, clad in a white shirt and black pants, the same attire as the rest of them. Another student, New realizes. The boy is staring at him even as New raises an eyebrow, and then –_

_And then he grins. All teeth, blindingly bright._

_New remembers being seven and soaked in Bangkok’s summer. He would take off early in the morning, wandering backyards and streets, the summer sun sticking to him like second skin. New would try to shake it off, skip from one shady grove to the next, but the heat would follow him everywhere, slowly seeping through his skin and burning it from the inside out. Only in the cooler hours of the evening would it release him, peeling away from his skin, one red patch at a time._

_New looks away. Nothing has changed. Nothing that can stick is welcome in his world, and this smile would be no different._

_He does not look again, not even when Arm has said his goodbyes and the eyes on him are long gone._


End file.
